still too proud to sink

ASK   I try not to remember my real name, my blog is my personal space for things that make me smile like the Beatles and poetry. I have a pacemaker, a love for firefighting and a deep interest in medicine. I also really like putting on lipstick and taking photos of myself.

I really can’t be mad that I was late to work today

I was half an hour late to work. And while that caused some unruly, unwanted mishaps and remarks from coworkers and management, I have to remember why I was late.

I was up north maybe 50 miles out from work and left my doctor appointment with plenty of time to make it to work, when I was hit with the first wall of brake lights. Annoyed, we all inched forth and made it past the first scene of fire engines and ambulance rigs. Traffic immediately picked up, and I thought I was out of it.

I began to throw on my work outfit and do my hair while still driving, thinking about what a lunatic I must look like right now, but now I was behind schedule; so duty calls.

I hit the normal rush hour afternoon traffic that all big cities get and was properly annoyed by that, and dropped a call into work to let them know that I was on my way and I SHOULDN’T be late because I still had 25 minutes to get there and only 15 miles to go.

Well, hello my name is Jacqueline Murphy’s Law because right then and there as my thumb went to hang up the call, I was in the third set of completely stopped traffic. And of course being in the furthest left lane, I couldn’t move to exit… Finally after 10 minutes and placing another call into work to tell them I’m definitely going to be late now, I made it to the right lane and I decided to drive a mile on the shoulder to the nearest exit and took all the back roads into town..

Of course not before I saw the silver civic that had slammed into the underpass…

So really. Yeah, I was late to work, yeah it sucked and everyone gave me a hard time about it… But at least I wasn’t the one involved in a car accident today.

— 1 hour ago
#this always happens when its the first rain of the season  #be safe out there  #car accident 
I look at all my laundry covering my bed and think

There just has to be some sort of receptacle — maybe even box shaped — that can obtain all of this.

— 2 hours ago
#first world problems  #i hate laundry 
What if people were really colored like this

What if people were really colored like this

— 3 days ago with 6 notes
#shut up jackie  #selfie  #crew shirt  #face 

Burst into moms room

I'm super into Queen lately Btw
Mom:okay
Me:just wanted you to know
— 3 days ago with 1 note
#this was important  #queen 
Today will be hard.

Because today, while I go to my part time minimum wage demeaning job, the whole time I will be thinking about how today is the first day at my old college of the CalFire Academy. And how I was a part of getting CalFire in there.

When I first started the fire program there, they ask you what your goals are and everything and I was literally the only person who wanted to go to work for CalFire. The influence of USFS and BLM and other agencies is just too strong, they see CalFire as a joke. But I kept on it, and finally the head of the department decided it wasn’t fair to only cater to the feds… That they needed to set up something state wise as well.

So today is the first day of the CalFire Academy at LCC and its heart wrenching that I’m not there to be a part of it.

I’d give so many things to be healthy enough to work for them, to train with them, learn from them..

But I guess I’ll just go to Panera now.

— 3 days ago
#shut up jackie 
"

Remember, remember you’re heart knows how to dig even though your body is a pile of rubble
Still vibrating from his earthquake

You are not dead

Though you just barely made it out by the skin of your chattering teeth,
You are moving

Keep grinding through
Because the only difference between you and the you who will make it out
Is what you’re willing to give up

You are strong

"
Barely alive is still breathing
— 4 days ago with 2 notes
#this was supposed to be a happy poem  #spilled ink  #spilled thoughts  #twc